break up
by bill560682
Summary: randy breaks up with his girlfriend. turns out to be funny or at least i think so. the kind of story you can read over and over and still think it funny. there are also parts were you think that is so true. so what kind of breakup was it 'we get back together in a few days' or 'crazy girl torches your car' breakup. disclaimer i do not own the show or the people in it


"you do not love me randy taylor. if you did you would find a way to be with me in costa rica." says a very pissed off lorren to randy.

"i do so love you. i have loved you since we first met. why do you think i joined the drama club, because you were in it. why do you think i joined the school newspaper, because you were in it. why do you think i joined this group to go to a totally different country, because you were in it. i was willing to leave the country for you." argued randy to the only girl he ever loved.

"if you loved me as you say you would find a way to be on that trip, you are just like every other guy all you care about is sex." spouted lorren.

"an what am i supposed to do go hold a gun to their heads till they change their minds? if i did that i would still not be going on the trip because i would be in prison and my new boyfriend bruno would be passing me around to everyone for smokes so i could be gang raped over and over for years. an as far as guys liking sex hell yah we do. what did you think i was a unic or something, news flash i have all my parts and they do work. so yes i am a guy and guys care about sex and sports be that baseball, football, tennis or golf it has been that way since the beginning of time. the only newest thing is cars an guys only really care about having the best cars so they can try to be alpha male and get the best girl for sex. it does not matter if they are straight, bisexual or gay guys like sex. so what i was supposed to be your gay friend who you hung out with but did not need to worry about wanting in your panty's because you had the wrong plumbing in them for me? we have been dating for 2 years now, dating not hanging out with your gay friend and i have never pushed you for sex not once. so what you thought since i did not try to force you to have sex with me right from the start i'm what gay and hiding it?" ranted randy who should have known by now that yes she was looking at him as a gay friend who sometimes they kissed an kissed a lot but was otherwise harmless.

"men! i am leaving now, an do not bother to write to me. an if you do end up in prison i hope you and bruno are happy together." said lorren as she got up and left.

randy could not believe this she just dumped him. they had dated for two years and known each other over 4 years and she just dumped him like was yesterdays garbage.

mark came down to check on randy since he had not been seen since lorren left hours ago an he did not even come to dinner. so mark brought him a plate. jill wanted to bring randy a plate but mark talker her out of it by saying his problem might be a guy thing and that NO guy EVER wants to talk about those kinds of things with their mother. both tim and brad backed mark up on that point.

"so how you doing? i am fine. so how you doing? i am fine i said. so how you doing? well, at the moment annoyed with you asking me how i am doing. well, now that is out of the way mom send you a plate and how are you really doing?" asked mark who could see a hint of a smile at his joke.

"i thought dad and i were supposed to be the funny ones around here?" asked randy returning to his mopey state just a bit.

"no side stepping the question. i hear nor see or smell any signs of illness such as if you had the runs an did not run fast enough to the bathroom, so it is likely girl problems. well if it was that it was 'that time of the month' that would get you bummed but not this bummed, so it must be worse then that. an it is not likely she is going to have your kid, that would be more shocked then bummed. so that leaves dumped but is it dumped or dumped dumped, the first leaves open the option for making up and then of course make up sex the second does not. so unless this is your first case of being dumped an you do not know the rules it is simple you do all the stuff she hated doing and hang out with all the people she hates for a few days the two of you then get back together and have great sex, so you were dump or more then likely it is dumped dumped." stated mark as randy just watched him go on and on.

"how did you get so smart?" asked randy since not even mom would have gotten that far that fast. mom would have spent a minute just asking how he was and get fine as an answer before before moving on to do you want to talk about it and getting told no. then she would have told him she was here if he wanted to talk and then leave without getting and real answers about anything.

"well you are my brother an the rumor is you are rather smart from time to time. so you got dumped dumped sorry to hear that." replied mark not letting randy get off topic.

"i never said i got dumped or dumped dumped." responded randy knowing there was no way out of this do to mark being to smart it seemed.

"so why did she dump dump you. an before you say who said she dump dump me an that i did not dump dump her. the answer is clear, if you dump dumped her you would be hanging out with people she hates and doing things she hates as a way to say i am over you. since you are here looking as you do it was her who dump dumped you." retorted mark.

"well i am just going to sit over here and watch because you seem to be doing a good job having a conversation for both of us." replied randy who was having a hard time keeping the smile from his face.

"well lets talk about your good points. what good points. well your smart. i'm not that smart. you take all honors classes in high school so as i said your smart. ok so i'm smart big deal. your funny so now we have smart and funny. ok i will give you funny. an your good looking so we have smart, funny and good looking. wait, a second do i not get to vote on this whole good looking thing at all. well you know lorren would lorren have gone out with an ugly guy for two years? no. well there you have it you are smart, funny and good looking add in money if you had it and you would be the total package. so now i just need to figure out how to get rich. oh rich is easy, you invent something stupid and convince everyone they want it like the pet rock or the mood ring or better yet convince kids their parents don't love them if this piece of junk is not under the christmas tree." says mark who is getting very much into this one person conversation.

at this point randy can not even come up with an answer because he is to busy laughing.

"now as you can see i just did in minutes what it otherwise would have taken weeks if not monthes to do, namely get you to smile and even to laugh. an it's a good thing to otherwise i would have ended up in a fist fight with myself sooner or later and that could only end badly for all involved, so good night all." states mark as he then takes a very deep bow to randy. mark then walks over to were randy is sitting on his bed and sits next to him and gives him a big hug.

"you know all those things i said are true. you are smart, funny and good looking an if lorren does not want you that is her loss there a plenty of people who would love a guy like you. an before you say name one, ok me i want you and i love you." an with that said mark just sat there and kept hugging randy till he fell asleep. 


End file.
